Haterblockers

When I was growing up we used the term “haters”. Haters were people who were basically jealous of you, wouldn’t celebrate you and couldn’t even give you a compliment (and more). So because of that people developed the term haterblockers. This involved the wearing of sunglasses to block out and cause you not to see the light of people’s hatred and jealousy towards you.

Today many people across this nation and the world are wearing “haterblockers” only it’s not to block out people’s hatred and jealousy but it’s to block out the TRUTH. Galatians 4:16 (NLT) says “Have I now become your enemy because I’m telling you the truth?” People would rather ignore, pretend, numb out, deny, argue you with you, deflect and make up a fairy tale than accept the TRUTH.

As a representative of this organization the TRUTH for us is that every day a little girl, a little boy, a baby, a teenager is being sexually abused, physically abused, emotionally abused, etc. by a family member, family friends and others. The TRUTH is that people do not like talking about this because they either believe it won’t happen to their family or they can’t accept that as a parent they may have missed it somehow. The TRUTH is in some cases you don’t have enough money or influence and your family may have to wait longer for justice. The TRUTH is that some people are stuck once they find out they don’t know what to do. The TRUTH is , as the Founder previously stated, we have to do something about “the system” as it relates to child sexual abuse. The TRUTH is….The TRUTH is that although we are making headway against the crime of child sexual abuse there is still a great work to be done to stop it.

Child sexual abuse, sex trafficking of kids, etc. is just as much a pandemic as COVID 19. But it’s easier for some to accept COVID 19 because you can see how it’s affecting everyone and it’s right now. But what about child sexual abuse? Not only is it right now, it’s every day, it’s long lasting, it can be multi generational, it’s happening everywhere!

Hey you, are you wearing Haterblockers? Are you blocking out the TRUTH? The children are crying out for our help. Take your blockers off!!!

Faithe N. Preston

Speaking Out Blog Outreach Coordinator

It’s brewing..

While the storm of COVID-19 is hovering over the lives of people all over the world there is another storm brewing. Many are consumed with fear and anxiety with in their own personal selves and are trying to maintain that they are oblivious to the signs that are manifesting before them.

Statistics said that one out every ten children have experienced child sexual abuse. What will the statistics be when we come out of the “shut in”? How many children are being “shut in” during playtime? During lesson time in the other room? In their siblings room when mom is overwhelmed with the weight of homeschooling for the first time?

There’s another storm brewing and we need to open our eyes, our hearts, our compassion and be prepared. We need to be ready!

This storm will reveal the enemy with in. Not a teacher, not a coach, but the enemy with in. There is a storm brewing and we need to be prepared.

What about the children? Who is ready and will stand for them?

How can justice be served?

My heart bleeds as I sit here recalling the experiences I have heard of fellow survivors or those who have overcome, parents or family members who have witnessed their child or love one being abused and students that I have taught. Many of our experiences have different endings. Many have no closure, many lay open like a sink hole, and then there are a few that experienced justice being served to their abuser. But did they really? How can one put a sentence on a lifetime crime? A crime that effects every area of a human beings life. How?

But for what little bit of justice “the system” can offer I want to give you a glimmer of hope.

“The door to my room was slightly cracked. I heard him say something about getting a comb out of my room. The next words I heard were from my mom. She was yelling “Get out! Get out of my house!” I became numb. What? No! Oh no! What has happened? She can’t possible know.” Excerpt from The Best Way Out by Faithe Preston.

When my mom found out I was being sexually abused by my stepfather she immediately called the Military Police. And the series of events that took place after were quickly expedited (at least from what I can remember). The MP’s quickly took me to the doctor, confirmed I was pregnant at 11, escorted us to London to have abortion and trial began soon there after.

My stepfather was sentenced to two life sentences and was sent to a military prison. Years later my mom found out he was let out on good behavior. I have no idea how long he was actually in prison. But after the trial, we were elated. We felt victorious. My abuser was caught, tried and sentenced. So don’t give up!

It took me 30 years to overcome and be made whole. All thanks to Jesus and a family of people who stood in there with me through the good, the bad and ugly. Loved me beyond myself because love covers a multitude of sin. But can you really put a sentence on a crime with lifetime effects.

Let’s vigilantly continue to bring awareness of child sexual abuse and prevent the effects of a lifetime crime.

By Faithe Preston – SpeakingOut CSA Blog Outreach Cordinator

Keep them pure!

There are two words that are extinct and obsolete to most people in today’s culture and that is purity and modesty. Yes!! These were actually words that people considered honorable a long time ago.

Purity means freedom from anything that debases, contaminates and pollutes.* Today our children are bombarded by the media, entertainment & music industry, family, social media and so much more to rob them of their purity.

Parents, guardians, god parents, caretakers, etc. please take the time to watch and listen to commercials, to supposedly funny statements in cartoons, to TV shows geared towards children or even the various clothing lines. You will hear and see a sexual undertone in each one. And if you are one who allows your children to watch TV all of the time or unattended you will miss it.

I have witnessed so many kids, especially girls, who are dressed like adult barbie dolls and it breaks my heart. Why? Because I look beyond the “Oh! She’s so cute,” statements. And beyond the “Aww..she’s dressed like her momma,” statements and I see a child pedophile lusting for your daughters like they would you as the mom.

For example, a lot of the foods are causing our children to develop earlier. As a teacher, I saw 1st graders with breast and bottom. So imagine a developing 1st grader in one of those peek-a-boo shirts (shoulders exposed) and tight leggins. Now imagine a pedophile looking at her.

Let’s make sure we are not contaminating the purity of our little girls by making them grow up too fast. Let’s keep our children pure as much as we can, for as long as we can.

*dictionary.com

By: Faithe Preston, Speaking-CSA Blog Outreach Coordinator

Distorted Image

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“My step-father was my first. My first experience with a male was with my stepfather. My first picture of how romantic relationships should be was with my stepfather. For two years, ages 10-12, my stepfather and I were in a relationship. Did it fall into the category of a relationship as we know it? No. But in the eyes of a child that was all I knew. There was no love, no affection, no connection, no communication, nothing. It was simply sex – lay there and disappear to my secret hideout.” – Bk: The Best Way Out by Faithe Preston

Child sexual abuse gives a child a distorted image of themselves, family, INTIMACY and so much more. Many victims become promiscuous later as teenagers and adults and are unable to connect intimately during sex. Not only that, many have failed relationships, marriages and keep a distance from family. Abuse is just like a chronic illness it is persistent and otherwise long lasting in it’s affects that comes with time.

We must be vigilant in our efforts to stop and bring awareness to child sexual abuse. And we must be just as diligent in providing healing and wholeness to those who have been abused. #healthebrokenheartedsetatlibertythemthatarebruised

*Chronic Illness definition provided by google.

Faithe N. Preston SpeakingOut-CSA Blog Outreach Coordinator

Watch that lap!

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“I wanna play the computer game,” I said in my ten year old voice standing beside him. He pulled me onto his lap and eagerly showed me which keys to press on the keyboard. Suddenly his hand brushed down my most private place and then up with a firmer stroke. I jumped up aghast by his touch. – Excerpt from “The Best Way Out” by Faithe N. Preston

As parents holding our children in our laps is a moment of love, nurturing and bonding. It can also be an occasion to solidify security and trust in our little ones.

It’s unfortunate that in today’s time a precious moment can be turned into an opportunity for child predators. Disclaimer – It is not my desire to have anyone live their life in fear or paranoia. That’s not living. However, it is imperative that we are even the more watchful of our children, that we keep our relationships with them close, with open communication, and that we discuss with them the dangers that we/they face every day.

Our children should not be allowed to or even strongly encouraged sit in everyone’s lap that includes family members and the various boyfriends that some have today. There should also be an age where we no longer allow them to sit in our laps. Looking back now, at the age of 10, I was too old to be sitting in my stepfather’s lap. But I didn’t know it because I never had a father and he had just come into our lives.

Please! Be watchful and protect your children, all children.

Ut-oh! Yes, that includes “Santa”! (How can I tell my child I don’t want you sitting in Uncle John’s lap but then say it’s OK to sit in a strangers lap?)

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Watch that Lap!

Faithe N. Preston
SpeakingOut’s Blog Outreach Coordinator

Slow Down, Take Your Time, and Pay Attention

Happy Holidays! In today’s time everyone is in a rush to get somewhere, preoccupied with their phones and tablets, wanting every thing to be convenient, hurry, hurry, hurry..In the hustle and bustle of life I’ve noticed that the important details of life are being overlooked and forgotten.

I sat and observed people as they were shopping in the malls, crossing the streets and moving through the airport this holiday. I witnessed parents sending their young children to the bathrooms unattended. I noticed parents on their phones while their children were racing ahead of them. I watched parents crossing the streets while their children were lagging behind.

All I could see was opportunity for child predators. It only takes a few seconds for your child to be taken from you. It only takes a few seconds in the bathroom for your child to be touched, talked to, coerced into leaving with a stranger, etc.

What happened to holding our children hands as they crossed the street? What happened to stopping for a few minutes to take your child to the bathroom? What happened to being attentive to your surroundings? Children are not an inconvenience but the greatest sacrifice of love we could ever give. No greater love does one have than to lay down his own life for another. That’s what we are to do for our children.

Lay aside your hustle and bustle, your inconvenience and Slow down, take your time and pay attention! I promise you when you’re not they are (child predators).

Faithe N. Preston

Speakingout-csa Blog Coordinator

Who am I?

Innocence or Identity

“The little girl who was once a social bunny ceased to exist and a new little girl emerged imprisoned, secretive, fake, numb and alone.” Quote from “The Best Way Out” By Faithe N. Preston

After experiencing child sexual abuse myself for two years and hearing the experiences of other adults there is a reoccurring word that surfaces in most conversations and that is innocence. Many people make statements like: You were just an innocent child or your innocence was stolen from you.

May I please clarify, educate, or expose you to the right word? Innocence is the state or quality of being innocent of a crime, lack of guile or corruption and having done nothing wrong. And although we did not do anything wrong the correct word is IDENTITY. As a child the foundation of who you are is formed from birth to 5 years old.

Visualize with me for a minute. See a child in a rich environment of love, support, encouragement, trust, security and well on their way to becoming who they were born to be and then all of a sudden in a moment all of that is destroyed and smashed to rubble. Identity is all the things that create one’s sense of self.

Child sexual abuse destroys a child’s sense of self, their identity, and they are left with the life shattering question “Who am I?” From then on they spend the rest of their lives trying to figure that out. Not living. Not pursuing that job you heard them say to your “What do you wanna be when you grow up question?” Not carrying on the family name. Just waking every day consciously and unconsciously trying to find the answer. Oh, the prices that will be paid! Oh, the unmentionable things that they would not have even dared to do prior to that life shattering moment..Who am I?

*Let us be alert and of a sober mind to watch and protect our children, all children.